Hugs and Kisses

If you read my story about the next door neighbor’s granddaughter, you will know that girls showed up on my radar when I was four years old and I have been fascinated by them ever since. I went from being totally in love with one girl to being in love with all the girls in my new kindergarten class. (Then the whole school, then the whole world.) Here I was in a small room day after day with soft, pretty, good smelling girls. Oh, my guy friends were there too, but the girls were…girls! In my five year old mind, it was perfectly natural to show your affection to people that you liked. So, it was always my habit to put my arm around a girl if she was sitting close to me. Give a girl a peck on the cheek to say I enjoyed her company? I absolutely would. And hugs all around! I would make my rounds checking on everyone in class. Making sure everyone was doing okay. Giving hugs to the ladies if I thought they needed one.  It wasn’t until my mom sat me down at home one evening and had a talk with me that I thought anything was out of the ordinary. She started off by asking how school was. What else could it be? It was wonderful! She then said that my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Burford, was amazed that I could read so well. Mom told her that she read to me often and I also picked it up by reading by myself and watching Sesame Street and The Electric Company. I wasn’t sure what to say to that other than “I looove Sesame Street.” Mom wrapped up the conversation by telling me that Mrs. Burford was also concerned that I was being too friendly with the girls in class. At this point, I had no idea what she was talking about. In my mind I thought - hugs, helping with crayons, kissing, pronouncing new words for them that I happened to know, and putting my arm around them - no, everything seems to be in order here. Mom went on to explain to me that Mrs. Burford thought that putting my arm around girls in school was not really something that I should do. I was amazed by the backward thoughts of my beloved new teacher. Surely she must realize that I want, nay, need to be friendly, especially to girls. Mom told me to keep my hands to myself during school so my teacher wouldn’t call her about this. With a skeptical mind, I accepted this sentence. I then went to work on how I could put my arm around girls outside of school. I had no ideas, so I went through the rest of the year suppressing my urge to wrap my arms around every girl within reach. I didn’t like it, but I knew I had to make the teacher happy. So, my new direction in the foreseeable future was to be "hands-to-self and no smooching." Seemed like a really boring way to go through life, but I wanted to make things smooth with everyone. It wasn’t until later that I discovered places outside of school that girls also went. I saw girls at the park, in stores, and just walking down the street. They were everywhere, not just in school. It was open season for hugs and kisses in my book. If I had been a young entrepreneur, I may have opened a kissing booth at the fair. That's how much hugs and kisses meant to me. Unfortunately, I also discovered that not all girls wanted me to put my arms around them. In fact, a great number of them didn’t want me to do that at all. I knew then that the whole world was completely nuts and I would have to figure it all out as I went. I still haven’t figured out very much. I have had a lot of kisses throughout the years and I have loved nearly all of them. There have been some I wanted to kiss, but regretfully didn’t. Some I kissed and loved it. Some I wanted to kiss, but couldn't muster the courage to try. And then, there were others that I kissed and wished I hadn’t. What I learned in kindergarten that has stayed with me all these years is color inside the lines, pay attention to the person who's speaking to you, drinking milk makes you strong, and there’s nothing quite like a good kiss.

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