Going Out To Cali

A long time ago, back in the early 80’s, I was a grade school boy without much to worry about. I played around the neighborhood, I ate what mom cooked, I watched a little TV (always cartoons on Saturday morning), and dreamed of far off places. One place I thought I’d never go was Disneyland. It just seemed too fantastic, a true fairy tale kind of place. One day, dad and mom sat my brother Jeff and me down and told us that we would be driving to California the upcoming summer. All in all, it was going to be a two week ordeal. We would stop to see friends in Arizona, stop at the Grand Canyon, stop to see my Aunt and Uncle in Irvine and go to Disneyland. Wait, what? Disneyland? That’s not possible. Is it? Holy mackerel, I’m going to Disneyland...and I hadn't even won the Super Bowl.
The day to leave came and we loaded up our suitcases and packed a cooler full of food. Also in the mix were some things to keep me entertained like coloring books and those crappy early baseball and football video games. They were the ones with a blinking dot for the guy with the ball and other dots that were the defensive players. Real high-tech! We set off for the west coast and I had a gleam of hope in my eye that Mickey was waiting for me to show up. We traveled for what seemed like three weeks and finally reached Phoenix. We would stop at roadside picnic areas for meals out of the cooler, sandwiches and chips mostly.We stopped in Phoenix to see Kathy, one of my parents' friends and her two sons, Johnnie and Shane. They had lived near us for years and all of us boys kind of grew up together for a while. We stopped at their house. It was in a kind of community that I had never seen before. All the houses were the same, white stucco with a terra cotta tiled roof. There were dozens of houses with a community center and swimming pool that all the residents could use if they needed. Growing up in small town America, we didn't have a pool. There was an indoor pool about a half hour away at the YMCA, but we only went occasionally during the summer as part of the school's Reading Is Fundamental program. If you participated and read a certain number of books, you were rewarded with a swim day. I always read about twice as many books that were needed so I was certain that I could go. Later they had a weekly bus that would go to the outdoor pool. I made that trip as often as I could. Anyway, back to the Arizona pool. We showed up and they told us they had a pool we could go swim in. Johnnie and Shane swam all the time, so they didn't really want to go. I didn't want to be an ungrateful guest, but I wasn't courteous enough to not run to the bathroom and put on my swimming trunks when I heard there was a pool I could walk to and swim in. I played in the water like it was the only water for miles and miles. Looking back, that probably wasn't too far from the truth. We had a good time talking to everyone. We had a nice dinner and spent the night. We got up the following morning and made the trek up to the canyon. I was burnt and a little uncomfortable. A little pale Irish boy in a pool in Arizona is just asking for third degree burns. It wasn't that bad, but we had todig out some lotion so I would quit telling everyone I was miserable. Coated in a layer of sunburn soother, we made our way to the giant hole in the earth north of PhoenixWhen we got to the Grand Canyon, it was better than I had anticipated. I like nature and the outdoors as long as I wasn't in them for very long. Looking out over the expanse of the canyon, I was mesmerized. The only word I could say was “massive”. I stared and stared until my eyes dried out from the desert wind and sun. All the things I had learned about in school about layers of earth and rivers washing away stone was all here in front of me. Miles and miles of science class. I was always a quiet kid, but my parents may have been worried I was either bored or the trip had made me dumb. It was neither of those things. I was just in awe of nature. We shuffled around the tourist areas of the canyon. I heard that there was a path to the bottom of the canyon where you could walk or ride a burro to a small outpost on the canyon floor. I thought riding a donkey would be a pretty sweet way to spend the afternoon so I suggested it. Both mom and dad laughed and said “No way”. Being an adult and parent now, I can see their wisdom in turning down the rare “opportunity” to ride a beast of burden for a couple of hours downhill...then back up again. The day's excursion to the Grand Canyon ended without incident. Although my brother, Jeff, did lose his footing near the rim of the canyon and turned white as a ghost for a few hours. We got some fresh drinks at a convenience store and headed back to the main highway. Jeff drank his before we made it out of the parking lot. Then he spent the next ten minutes burping in my face. Disneyland, where are you? We were one step closer to Big D, and I don’t mean Dallas.
I can't remember sleeping arrangements along the way for this trip other than the night in Phoenix and a couple of nights at my Uncle Bill and Aunt Valentina's condo in Irvine. We had to utilize a hotel or two because it was a two week vacation, but I can't bring those memories to light. What I do remember is showing up to my aunt and uncle's place. It was a very posh condo that was adjacent to a very large park. I remember it being pink and sparkly, kind of swank like a 1970's party. Something fit for the mimosa and martini crowd. We got settled in and Jeff and I decided to explore the park. It was manicured green for what seemed like miles. There were basketball courts, a baseball diamond, tennis courts, a playground and what looked like a par five fairway on a golf course. My Uncle Bill thought so as well. He asked us if we wanted to watch him whack some golf balls around. That sounded like a good way to kill some time, so we followed him carrying about 20 old golf balls and my tall, lanky uncle shouldered his three wood. We would drop a ball and he would smack it down the middle of the grassy expanse. After about ten such projectiles, a guy in a golf cart wheeled around. It was the park police! We were busted. He told us that hitting golf balls in a public park was not allowed and honestly kind of dangerous. Uncle Bill explained that we had just driven in from Oklahoma and he was showing us a good time. He told the man that the park did, in fact, look like a golf course. The ranger agreed, but stuck to the "No Driving" policy. We went back inside content that we had broken a stupid law and got away with it.As the days went by, we spent time in San Francisco and a few other towns and cities up and down the California coast. San Francisco was absolutely amazing. Strangely enough, it looked exactly like it did on TV and in books! We hit the high points that tourists do. We found the twisting Lombard Street, but it was closed for repaving. We couldn't even walk down it. That was a bit of a letdown. We hopped onto a moving cable car and rode down to Fisherman's Wharf. Man, was it ever fishy there. You could not escape the smell. I wasn't having the best of times until I saw it. A man had just been out deep sea fishing and hauled in the biggest fish I had ever seen in person. It was certainly longer than I was tall. It was the typical scene of him standing beside it getting his picture taken while it hung heavy on a hook. Okay, so this place was cool after all. Speaking of cool, a side note to San Francisco is that we were there in the summer time. You might think summer...California...wear some shorts and a tank top like I did. Middle of the day, it was 57 degrees and I'm in shorty shorts and a Pacific Ocean sleeveless shirt. Not ideal gear to get on a boat going toward Alcatraz, but that's exactly what I did. We made the short freezing trek over to The Rock and disembarked. We did the tour, got locked in a cell, and browsed the gift shop. I hadn't done any prior research on Alcatraz so I probably missed some of the meaning behind the place. It was still pretty cool to be in a place that had a movie made about it.The topic “Movies” brings me to our next stop; Universal Studios Theme Park. Now, at the time, Disneyland was my Holy Grail. It was the place that I was concentrating on. In retrospect, however, I had a much better time at Universal. The Psycho house, Jekyll & Hyde, The A-Team Van, Battlestar Galactica, Jaws, King Kong, The Ten Commandments, and giant movie props. I was also highly entertained by employees who were dressed up in costumes. It seemed a bit silly, but it made me smile when I saw one of them. My memories of this place are clearer and still locked in my head. As I said before though, my focus was the next day's activities at the Magic Kingdom.Finally, the day came. DISNEYLAND!!! Our Buick Skylark pulled into the massive parking lot and we park about 155 miles from the front entrance and walked. We queued up and got tickets. We stepped inside the park and I spaced out. This was the biggest, coolest place in the world and I was here. Honestly, most of the day was a blur of good times. A Disney fishing hat, rides, shows, Small World, and Elton John. Did you say Elton John? Why, yes I did! In the early 80's, I didn't know about music as extensively as I do now, but who I did know was Elton John. He was on The Muppet Show once. Of course I knew who he was and he was twenty feet in front of me waiting to ride a ride! He had an entourage of merry men with him. I didn't know anything about gay people at the time. They just seemed like they were as happy as I was to be at Disneyland. Who could blame them? He had on a white ball cap, white pants, and pink sunglasses. If it wasn't him, his impersonator was outstanding. After hitting every ride, every store, every show, and probably every snack stand in the place, we dragged our spent carcasses back out to the car. The event had happened. The happiest place on earth had been conquered. We returned back to Oklahoma fairly quickly. I don't remember driving back at all. I was still mesmerized from the feelings that no other place could have delivered. Mickey didn't know I had been there, but I didn't care. I saw him thirty times that day and that's really all that matters.